For nearly a decade, University of Kentucky assistant professor of psychology Rachel H. Farr has studied different aspects of family life among heterosexual, gay and lesbian parents and their adopted children. Her newest findings were published by the Developmental Psychology journal.
Repeatedly, her research noted “no differences among (heterosexual and same-sex parent) family types” in myriad characteristics like behavior problems, stress levels, couple relationships, family functionality, relationship adjustments over time, and other factors. (1)
However, this is not true.
This CANNOT be true.
The kids are not alright, as a woman who was raised with two mothers stated eloquently in an open letter she sent to the LGBT community. (2)
You cannot just name the abnormal “normal” and actually believe that everything will be alright. You cannot just name the improper “proper” and believe everything will be alright. You cannot name the different “same” and believe everything is alright. You cannot see a family of two mothers and claim that they are the same with a family of one mother and one father simply because you wish so.
No, everything is not alright.
Nature has its ways. The universe has its ways. It may be ok for some humans to do what their free will dictates, but that does not mean that the universe will not react to the result of this free will. It may be ok for some people to have their own ethics, but that does not mean that this ethics does not collide with the balance of the cosmos.
No, everything is not alright.
Families do not have two mothers. Families do not have two fathers. Families have a father and a mother. This is the rule. Yes, there can be exceptions. But these exceptions should be exactly that: exceptions. Of course one can say that in the future the norm will be different. Of course one can argue that in the future all families will have more than one mother and more than one father. But that does not make that “normal” nor “good”.
We should respect the universe. We should respect nature. We should try to grow based on our free will, but we should do that within the guidelines and limitations of the world we live in. Not doing that is not a matter of power or freedom, but a matter of arrogance and defiance.
The above has nothing to do with respecting each other for their choices. And it surely has absolutely nothing to do with treating each other equally regardless of their personal choices. Everyone can do whatever they want, given the limitations set by the laws of course (I would also refer to the limitations of ethics as well, but that is beyond the scope of this article – read “The source of ethics” for more). And it is true that the laws have changed and will change even more. In the past having two same-sex parents was unacceptable. Now it is. In the same way though, in the future things might change again. Which brings us to the point: What is acceptable by society today or tomorrow, or what is allowed by the law today or in ten years has nothing to do with the essence of the problem. Because whatever changes happen in society, our nature will still be the same. Our bodies will still be defined as men and women. And our children will always be the offspring of both. And if we want to change that nature (I would disagree with that, but again it is your right), then we should at least have the decency of saying it so, rather than calling it “normal”.
You see, that is always the most difficult part in life.
To accept the obvious.
Good night mom.
Good night dad…
Sleep tight my child…
Everything will be alright…
That is the normal way of things…