[The essay below was submitted to Harmonia Philosophica in the context of the “What is Existence?” call for philosophical essays]
What is Existence?
Feeling is largely unknown. Some are even heard to say that feeling is not emotion. I have often wondered if there is an affect called ‘pain’ that can analogue between the physical and the mental. I hesitate to say ‘psychic’ pain, since I am not quite sure if speaking about a psyche has any more substance to it than speaking about a finger, at least in reference to what might be existing. I am likely more the being of my feelings than I am the being of the psyche. My finger indeed hurts, but I’m never so sure what my psyche might be doing.
I refer existence to the ‘what’. What is existence. Question mark. By this I do not step into the irrational and stay there, for, how could I speak irrationally about what is irrational? Perhaps I would say something like,
“Peanuts! Rock the urine stars of liver meat going “squash war it thus spittle churn. And atom * running slime %: geographica —Uranus space_# toilet into (cough) dirt Russian 7 halves?”
take some acid for the theater of the absurd, and my essay would be over. I would start walking from my home and continue walking until I literally fell over dead.
I must go in and out; quite libidinal, but again, hardly likely psyche. My irrational essay must be referring to an historical understanding of what is rational, which then, to my ears, makes no sense and really makes me want to stop this essay right now, never send it, but as well, I now know for sure in my heart and mind, in all confidence that the editors already read it, published it, and I am now already done for my Ted Talks in the season; I again step out of my house and walk forever, never encounter anyone because I have already met everyone who is important.
What is existence. The two routes I am playing with, “the ol’ in-out, in-out”, concerns where or how I find the what. Is the what referring to something outside of itself, thereby having nothing it expresses in itself, eternally an empty space of referral to something else that “is”? Or, is the question itself merely a statement of fact, such that its referral is substantiated itself by that which comes to meet it? Both of these questions, therefore, are not necessarily contingently isolated and constituting different manners of answers with possibility. That is the question mark that never exists but in the rational world that is, at root, irrational: always referring to the ? great unknown. And one wonders if there must be a faith to hold it all together? Well, just start at the beginning and ponder just ‘what’ is referring existence.
Lance Ah Kair, Feb Saturday 2020 also. (2022)
Submitted at Harmonia Philosophica for the “What is Existence?” call for essays