Researchers say it may seem contradictory that a means of generalizing to people at large is used when reflecting on one’s most personal and idiosyncratic experiences. To cope with negative experiences or to share an insight, people often use the word “you” rather than “I”.

“It’s something we all do as a way to explain how things work and to find meaning in our lives,” said Ariana Orvell, a doctoral student in the Department of Psychology and the study’s lead author. “When people use “you” to make meaning from negative experiences, it allows them to ‘normalize’ the experience and reflect on it from a distance”, said Orvell.

For example, “you win some, you lose some” would indicate that a person has failed in a situation, but by using the word ‘you’, they are able to communicate that this could happen to anyone. (1)

We are all bound together by misery.

Happiness tears us apart.

It is death which unites us.

Life makes us unique and alone.

Darkness makes us seek love.

Light makes us look away.

The secret of the meaning of life seems to be closer to dusk than to the sunrise. There seems to be a strange message lingering in the dark corners of the cosmos. And we can only listen to it when crying…